Ashley Marie

I have moved...

2010-02-08T23:37:00.002-05:00

...blogs. You can check out what I'm writing about here.

Kenya is almost here

2009-10-09T21:50:00.003-04:00

Less than a week until the team leaves. Feel like I have so much to do before I leave but dont know where to start. Startin to get nervous. But so excited too!! Need to get over this nasty cold and praying my back will heal up before the trip. Can't wait for God to do great things. I can't believe it's finally here.

God puts thing together perfectly...

2009-09-30T19:44:00.002-04:00

cool fact...I was talking to kristy mikel about kenya. I was telling her about how weird it was that Kenya is almost here and that three years has flew by since I first felt God speaking to me about it....Kristy was my cabin leader that year at camp and now we are going on trip together! How amazing is that?! God makes me giggle sometimes at how things work out. kristy was the first person i told about Kenya and shes on my team, not as my leader, but as a team member.

Ready or not...here it comes

2009-09-29T22:29:00.004-04:00

112 bracelets. 17 days. 408 hours. 27600 minutes.

Am I ready? yes and no. I feel discouraged. I'm ready to be there doing God's work. I'm ready to get away from life here. I'm ready to be used how God wants to use me. I'm not ready emotionally. I'm not ready physically. It feels like my body is being used as target practice right now. I'm ready for my back to heal. I want people to be excited about Kenya, but know that they can't be in the same way I am.

I'm so extremely excited beyond words. I believe that God gave me this dream for a reason. I think he has big plans. Certainly much more than I could ever do by myself. I need to stop getting dissapointed by what people are saying. God knows exactly what he is doing. I want people to understand..but they cant. I dont have a clue what I'm going to do when I come back home. I fully believe that God will speak to me and tell me what my next step is while i'm in Kenya. I feel like I'm walking blindfolded. I have no clue what's coming next. I'm tired of pressure to go to college and get a career for myself. That's not where I'm at right now. I'm fully commited to doing God's work. That might mean college later. But not right now. I feel alone and unbelonging. All friends are living lives at college. We're not at the same point in our lives. My best friends have become my parents. Never thought i'd say that. haha.

I'm ready. I'm ready for God to use me. I'm completely open for anything he has. I have zero plans, which could end in disaster or amazingness. I believe God will lead me in the right direction for what's ahead. I pray that I would quit worrying about what other people are saying. I pray that I would focus in on God. Nothing on the side. I pray that distractions would leave and that this could be one of the best experiences of my life.

New car

2009-08-15T17:32:00.003-04:00

I bought my first car today!! It's a 95 Toyota corolla yay. Only catch...it's a stick shift. So this morning my mom took me out driving for two hours to learn how to drive stick. I am now a pro and can drive by myself like a big girl hahaha. Definite God thing that i got this car!! Thanks Lord!!

Bus Stop

2009-07-30T23:39:00.004-04:00

Chicago is my second home. I've been there way too many times in the past year. But everytime I go theres always something new. The last time we went, my dad,ky,zach, and I decided to take the bus. This was a first for all of us and something we wanted to experience. Waiting for the bus I think was the most fun. We met a guy named Michael.
Michael is a college student who has lived in chicago his entire life. He knows only the part of the city that he grew up in. He takes the bus everywhere he goes because cars and parking are too expensive in Chicago. That night he was on his way to a class. Michael is majoring in history and loves to tell jokes. He believes in some new age stuff...power in everyone looking at the moon at the same time..things like that. He is super outgoing and loves to make converstation with everybody he meets on the bus.
It's crazy how much I learned about a guy I'd never met in one bus ride from the hospital to forever 21. Out of everything Michael said to us, i remember one thing in particular. He was talking about the crazy city life and the people of chicago. This one sentence really made me think...He said that People are too worried about tomorrow in this chicago that they never live.
In one sense, Michael has everything figured out...he's living his life...not worrying about tomorrow. But on the other hand...he has just barely figured out how to live life. There was just one HUGE thing missing. God was the missing piece and it didn't seem to phase him. I guess just because I've been raised with the knowledge of God and my mindset of life is around him i just can't really understand how someone who gets how to live doesn't know the one who created us.
Michael really made me think that day. I started to blog in my mind on the bus. haha. He could change the city of chicago if he talked about how awesome God is too everyone instead of telling borderline jokes and making people laugh. He has the right idea..but not the right content.
The city bus could possibly be one of the best places of ministry. In 15 minutes I learned all about a stranger without me doing the talking. Imagine if I intentionally rode the bus to minister to the people who live life in tomorrow.

Luke 1:38

2009-07-30T23:22:00.001-04:00

"I am the Lord's servant and I am willing to accept whatever he wants."

Back to Blogging

2009-07-13T14:53:00.003-04:00

I just got back from Jr. High summer camp a few days ago...incredible! I didn't think it would have the affect(effect? lol idk) on me that it did. God is going to use this group of kids in incredible ways! They're not simply just junior highers. I saw God work through the girls in my cabin and saw how they wrestled with things in their mind and want to take steps to following whatever God has for them in their lives. One of the girls in my cabin started the night we got back at her softball game...just praying with the team before the game started. The time I spent with God reminded me how awesome and incredibly powerful he is! I'm in a part of my life where I'm completely trusting God for the plans he has for me. I dont really have a set plan for college or school. I'm going to Kenya in October! I'm so excited and feel that this is what the Lord is telling me to do...
Sophomore year summer camp...JUMP...Dreaming big. I walked into the prayer room one afternoon and layed flat on my face before God and just listened. I wrote that this life is not my own and I give God my hands and feet to go wherever he wants me to go and live for him wherever. I looked up at the world map and saw a bright orange country. It seemed like it was the only thing I saw on the map. KENYA. I prayed again and felt like God was telling me that I need to go to Kenya in the next five years. I had no idea what I was going to do there or how I was going to get there. This was before the Baby Center topic had come up in the church and I just kept praying about going to Kenya. The next year went by and I still had this dream in the back of my mind but now talk about the baby center was going on. I thought...that's cool, but I dont want to do what everyone else is doing. I want to do my own thing. So the baby center was not really something that I wanted to do. But the next year went on and I kept praying. I felt like maybe this is where God wanted me to go and I had to give up trying to do what no one else was doing. I didn't want it to seem like i was just going because it was the cool thing to do.
Just recently I couldn't get this dream that God had put on my heart, out of my mind. So i texted my dad and asked him if there were any trips to Kenya coming up. After a couple reminders..he found out there was one in october that had two spots left. I had only one or two days to think about this or else there was a chance that the spot could be taken. I immediately signed up and turned in the form.
I'm so excited for what God could do in Kenya. I'm also scared out of my mind. I'm scared of the unknown and the long plane ride and being stranded in a country with no escape. But I really feel like this is what I need to be doing right now. After Kenya, i have no plans. Cosmetology school is a possibility, but I want to do what God has for me and that might mean waiting until he tells me what to do next. I'm letting go and living on faith. God could call me to go back on more trips to Kenya outside of the baby center. or he could just say to stay here and minister here. I sometimes feel like I'm living in a nightmare where i forgot to sign up for college. God will provide. He is never failing and knows what he is doing. Anything he has for my life is a plan that has a lot more use of my life than what I could come up with by myself.
Back to Jr. High....I think i'm going to work with them in the fall! What an awesome way to spend my wednesday nights. I fell in love with these group of kids and their willingness to listen to God. I think God can use me in big ways and I think he can use these kids in big ways as well! They can have so much impact on their schools and families.

So i was looking up a song we sang at jr. high camp..how he loves me. I'm listening to it and I start reading all the comments below it. Theres comments saying..how could God be real when theres no proof of him and I could never believe in this thing because there is no scientific evidence. But then I read one that catches my attention.

"Exactly how does God not pass the Scientific Method? The Scientific Method is based on observable and measurable traits. And last time I checked God, in terms of shear dimensions and calculations, can't be measured or observed. Therefor the Scientific Method is a pretty useless way of determining that there is a god, but just as equally useless in discrediting God.

Now of course, I do observe God. In many ways around me, I see the things that he's done and shaped, and by that I claim God."

This really made me think. It's so cool that God cant be contained or measured. That's how we live by faith. But he said something that I had to reread a few times..."therefor the Scientific Method is a pretty useless way of determining that there is a god, but just as equally useless in discrediting God." People claim that they cant follow God because he cant be contained or measured, but how can they discredit him by using the same excuse that he is God. This was just another reminder of how big and powerful God is. :D

Welcome back to life...

2008-04-30T19:37:00.003-04:00

life...is finally getting normal again. For the past few days my backs been messed up and i went to the doctor today so i just stayed home from church tonight with my mom so i could lay down. We were talking and i was like "mom sometime in ur life u have to play guitar hero" haha just joking and she was like...ok lets go! lol. i guess i'm not used to being able to have her do things and it was the most fun night i've had with her in probably 3 or 4 years. I taught her how to play guitar hero and we played singstar then found singstar 80s and she rocked out to all her songs. haha. We've never laughed so much together and had so much fun!! I'm so glad i can actually do stuff with her instead of having to watch her lay in bed all day and sleep. The clinic in chicago made such a difference!! I'm glad that i'll have atleast one year with her being able to do things and go places before i graduate. Its so so so nice to have my mom back. :D I wouldn't trade this for the world. She still has a constant headache but it's less intense and she's actually able to get up and walk around and ride in the car. It's amazing and so different from the life she had for 2 or 3 years. Thanks for all the prayers!! but dont stop! lol. She has a lot more to go and we're hoping that all this success will just continue and get so much better so she can actually live a normal life again with us. God has blessed our family so much through this and has only shown to be a provider and friend and shoulder to cry on. My family realized we were the only ones on the planet earth that is going through this same exact thing so we had to lean on each other now more than anything or anyone else. And God was always there and still is always there when we felt like no one understood. My mom came to church with us for the first time in...oh wow way too long. and we actually went as a family. Definitely an answer to prayer. I cant wait to see what God has in store for her and my family!

Chicago..

2008-04-04T13:45:00.002-04:00

Off to chicago again...gotta go pack then get in a car for 3 hrs w/nothing to do. haha. then sit at a hospital w nothing to do. well this will be fun [sarcastic]haha im' kidding. it should be fun. found out my mom is comin home monday finally btw.

.....excited for shopping in the windy city :D

Chicago...

2008-03-22T23:00:00.004-04:00

was so much fun!
-tried sushi for the 1st time
-rode in a taxi
-walked around magnificent mile for 3 hrs :D
-spent time w/my family
-got away for a day to forget about everything here
-got to see my mom!
-ate hospital food
-took tons of pics
-had the most amazing popcorn ever invented
-used an ipass haha
-met some random people

...i needed today to just get away. Im so glad i finally got to see my mom and hang out w/my dad and brother and sister. Just keep praying for our family and esp. my mom. She'll probably be up there another week and pray that the doctors will know what to do for her...pray that she will be comforted and not stressed.

Countries

2008-03-16T12:21:00.001-04:00

Ok I totally blanked during this. haha. it's harder than it sounds.

33

Daily

2008-03-06T21:31:00.002-05:00

On my way to school... Isaiah 41:10 is the verse going through my head. "Dont be afraid for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand" I pray that God will take away the fear, give me strength, and make me bold. It's amazing what God will do if ur willing to obey and listen.

Success = obedience....probably one of the biggest lessons I learned from NYGO. One of the best thing i've ever done...best week of my life. I loved NYGO and grew so much. I was stretched and changed. It was awesome. Man I'm just full of blogging today. haha. Ok that's all. I promise.

Just one of those verses that hits right on

2008-03-06T21:27:00.001-05:00

"Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth, and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you."
-Psalm 25:4-5

U S of A

2008-03-06T17:47:00.000-05:00

In 2m 45s

Click here to Play

brings back geography memories

Still...

2008-03-05T21:30:00.002-05:00

I still feel that God wants me to go to kenya. I've been praying like crazy since summer camp and keep doubting...thinking stuff like....i have no idea what to do...everyone will think i just wanna go there cause all the kenya stuff with the church. I've learned....it really doesn't matter what people think. It's not gonna make a difference if they think that or not. lol. This is totally between me and God. I'm still not sure but still feel God really pressing this on my heart...but not for the baby center. I think that's awesome...but it's not my passion. God has given me a passion and a love for elementary age kids. I know God wants to use me. I'm so incredibly willing to go where he leads. I'm open to anything he has to use me and glorify him. This is a crazy ride and I'm trusting God to lead me exactly where he wants me....to open doors and close doors where they need to be.

On fire rallies...

2008-03-04T21:22:00.002-05:00

have absolutely been amazing and eye-opening for me. Tonight especially hit home for me. God definitely has laid 2 people on my heart. One of which i dont get along with at all. Fear definitely has gotten in the way of talking to these people. I've kinda been in a valley with God lately...feeling distant and just needing something to jump start me again. This was it. Tonight biz told us to call a person God layed on our hearts if we needed to talk to them. I wasn't at school today so i knew i needed to call her and talk to her. Tomorrow will be....exciting....nervous....making me completely lean on and trust God. trust that he will give me the words to say. trust that he will give me so much confidence and just go for it. I have nothing to lose. I'm totally ready to jump off the edge. I'm ready now.

Something else that happened tonight just uplifted me and definitely encouraged me. I went on NYGO this summer and we wrote letters to friends back home. I wrote a letter to a girl that i was very close to and was super nervous to write to. I didn't know what she'd think or what she'd say but amy said something that was so true. She said it was more important for my friends to hear about God and risk their friendship by them rejecting what i had to say than playing it safe and saying nothing while knowing their life was going downhill. So i wrote this girl...about a week after i got home i got a letter back from her. Opening it was scary and exciting. She just said Ashley i definitely needed this and im so glad you care about me and wanted to talk to me and hang out. She's come to fanning the flame yesterday and today and said to me afterwards that because of me writing her that letter that she's at church and it changed her life. woah wow i was just like....God used me to impact one of my friends lives. I never thought i could do something that would change a life. I love that girl so much and am so glad i got past the fear of rejection and losing a friend. Instead we've grown so much closer and even more important....she is madly in love with God! I know i need to get past the fear i have right now and let God work through me to impact other people's lives. Even calling my friend tonight i had no clue what to say....i totally had to stop and pray and say God i know that i need to talk to her....give me the words to say. How great is our God. Absolutely amazing. He never fails. He's always there. Caleb has impacted my life so much throughout the last few years. I can't wait for tomorrow night.

Scary snow...glorious God

2008-02-03T22:59:00.000-05:00

Ok so tonight I went to a superbowl party at my friends house and left at 10 to go home. first of all my car started and i was super excited [it hasn't started in like 4 days] haha. but the roads were super bad, it was snowing incredibly hard, and i was extremely nervous to drive home. but i was like..ok if i just go slow and watch carefully i'll be fine. Like 2 min down the road all the sudden my car started to turn off the road and i couldn't do anything to stop it. it was so scary. not like anyone ever tells you what to do when that happens. so i tried to get out by myself at first then called my mom and my friends dad to come help me get out. Then this car drove up and stopped ahead of me. My first thought was...ok should i roll down my window. i dont kno who it could be. what should i do? i called my mom real fast and asked her haha but then after like a min of sitting in their car they came out and helped me. I was glad it was two guys from northwood. phew. lol. I'm glad they knew what they were doing cause i sure didn't kno. But throughout the whole thing...God was there and planning out every second. He kept me safe first of all. Then right away he sent some high school guys to come push my car back on the road. All the times i needed to call my mom, dad, or friend right away...they were the ones to call me at the times i needed them to call. Isn't it cool how God works things out? On the way home i just took time to thank God for everything in my life. The little things that do so much!

Keep my neighbors in your prayers. A husband and two little boys lost a wife and a mom this morning from a long battle with cancer. The little boys are only 7 and 9 and have a long life ahead of them and they wont really know a ton about their mom. We're all thankful that she's in heaven now without any pain at all. Just pray that God will give the boys and their dad a peace about this and just to kno that she's so much better off in heaven with Jesus.

Adventures in babysitting haha

2008-01-29T21:44:00.000-05:00

Tonight I had to babysit from 5:45 until 9:30. I have to admit i did not wanna go at all haha. but it was so much fun!! Except for the part when they were crying because the storm got bad. haha but it was still good. Our roads back here are gettin a ton of water and it's starting to snow so hopefully we'll have a 2 hr delay tomorrow! haha. ya right...northwood actually delay school. lol.

Tonight...

2008-01-25T23:48:00.000-05:00

was soooooo much fun!!! It was the sweetheart dance and probably the most fun i've ever had at a school dance! I wanna go dance some more. haha.

God smiled

2008-01-21T23:37:00.000-05:00

8th grade impact jr. trip. We talked about making God smile. today was one of those days where i was like...i think God's smiling. God really used me today and it was awesome. Last weekish sometime haha umm i was reading galatians 1 and in verse 15 it says "...For it pleased God in his kindness to choose me and called me, even before i was born." i was just like...whoa that's really awesome. then today it came back to me and i was like... wow God wants to use me. God wanted me here even before i was born and he chose me. I was just amazed by that. I think i made God smile today :D

p.s. success=obedience
today was a successful day. it's crazy how God's works things out. he never stops amazing me.

3 day weekend!!

2008-01-18T15:27:00.001-05:00

ahhh what will i do w/all my time. haha. then we have a 2 hr delay on tuesday. i'm pretty excited. should probably start filling out my senior year scheduling stuff. ughh. fun fun. haha.

Piece by piece

2008-01-14T21:19:00.000-05:00

So as a junior in high school, the school's always saying we need to choose our career paths and pretty much decide the rest of our lives right now. haha. i've never had any idea. but the other day it kinda clicked and i'm not positive this is what i want to do but i'm pretty sure. I think i might want to be a social worker and deal w/kids that are abused and need to go into foster homes for a while or whatever the problem is. God's given me a passion for little kids. I used to work in Children's ministries all the time and babysitting is so much fun for me just to be w/the kids. haha. Even when i felt God telling me to go to kenya in the next few years what i would do is work w/little kids. I'm not sure why but God has just given me this passion for little kids. I think by going through all this stuff w/my mom and all the health issues in our family i've learned how to deal w/not so fun situations. lol idk how else to put it. But i really dont know. That's something i think i'd be good at and really enjoy as a job. I'm just praying that God would reveal to me what he wants me to do and help me make the right decisions.

snow

2008-01-03T22:02:00.000-05:00

last night i went sledding from 10 til 12. haha it was amazing. but anyways...i went and saw I am legend w/amber and it's pretty much one of the scariest movies i've ever seen. haha. i jumped like 5 times and just wanted to close my eyes bahaha. But it was good...and i will probably have nightmares about the infected people or whatever for a week. lol.

Highlights of '07

2007-12-31T18:22:00.000-05:00

Tonight...

2007-12-27T23:04:00.000-05:00

was semi formal and it was horrible. yup pretty much. me and chels left an hour early. amber got really sick and had to leave. no one was there. friends ditched us. end of story. but ya i'm just really really bummed about semi formal and dissapointed.

A Christmas to Remember

2007-12-24T22:33:00.000-05:00

Wow. Tonight has been absolutely amazing. I've never been so close with my family or so glad to be with them. We spent about 4 hours in the hopsital tonight together as a family and just talked. At first we were really scared because it could have been really serious but it's fine now. I cannot say enough that God will always provide. Today has made me in awe of what God can do. Medical bills are a really tough thing and expensive and we were really concerned about paying for it. Tonight a bunch of our friends helped us and we'll be able to pay a lot of those bills off. I'm absolutely amazed and in awe. Wow. I can't even explain how much God has provided for our family this christmas. Tonight we just all sat and cried together and just thanked God for how awesome he is. I'm so glad to be in my family(wow did i actually say that? haha jk jk) no but seriously God does everything for a reason. Through all the tough times we've been through the biggest lesson i've learned is just that God provides. I'm just in shock. lol. wow. I can't thank God enough for all he's done for us. We'll never forget this christmas. That's for sure.

Breaking Tradition

2007-12-24T18:01:00.000-05:00

This isn't the christmas eve we thought it would be. My mom's port started bleeding. It might be really serious. The vein that her port is in goes straight to her heart. We're going to the ER together and we have no idea what's gonna happen. God has blessed us so much today though. People from the church have just come up to the door and handed us things. God still amazes me everytime this happens. Just pray that everything will be ok. We'll be spending our Christmas Eve in the ER.

Rihanna

2007-12-23T16:02:00.001-05:00

wow this is crazy!!

Celebrity Morph

2007-12-23T15:51:00.001-05:00

Psalm 33

2007-12-20T19:59:00.000-05:00

Psalm 33:6-7, 9 The lord merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. He gave the sea its boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs. For when he spoke, the world began! It appeared at his command."

so i was just reading that and thought "wow that's absolutely amazing. only God could do something like that." haha. God created everything by speaking and breathing. No one else will ever be even a little bit close to as cool as that. lol. It just amazed me. I mean i knew that already but i read it over and over and just realized how awesome and cool God is.

It's beginning to feel a lot like christmas

2007-12-18T11:35:00.001-05:00

We finally got our Christmas tree up 2 days ago. It's a little tiny one but it still makes it feel more like Christmas time. 4 more days of school until break!!

Let it snow

2007-12-15T19:28:00.000-05:00

I was looking out my window today as it started to snow harder and harder and was just in awe of how beautiful God makes everything. It was amazing. He is the greatest artist.

Elf Yourself

2007-12-14T15:40:00.000-05:00

funny stuff

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1401931884

copy and paste into adress thing cause i dont know how to make a link work haha

Specific way you can pray...

2007-12-13T21:54:00.001-05:00

hey a specific way you can pray for my mom is just for comfort right now. She's in a lot of pain since they put the port in her chest and she's just incredible sore. It's hard for her to move because that's really sore and she had an iv in her big toe (she has really bad veins so after like an hour of poking her and trying to get an iv in they finally had to try her big toe...ouch) but ya just pray that she will be in less pain and be comfortable enough to get some sleep tonight so her body will be able to heal better.

Rule #1: Life isn't fair

2007-12-13T21:04:00.000-05:00

It's just a fact. Life isn't fair. We can't really decide what happens to us. It's not fair that my mom has to go through this. It's not fair that kids in other countries die from starving. It's not fair that a family has to loose a loved one through cancer. Life's just not fair. But no matter what happens in life things turn out by how you deal with them. "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you handle it." I realized there 2 ways i could deal with this whole thing. I could sit around and pout and say " I hate my life. This isn't fair." But what good would that do at all? It'd do absolutely nothing. The other choice is to live my life out...seeking to find what God wants for my life and how he wants to use me. I know that God will never give me more than I can handle. I can get through this. I need to get along better w/my family. They're the only ones in the entire world that know exactly what i'm going through and they know me better than anyone else. So why do we always treat other people better than our families? Shouldn't it be the other way around? I'm slowing learning that i need to grow in my relationships w/my brother and sister and lean on them so we can do this journey together.

Boo Ya

2007-12-13T13:51:00.000-05:00

"Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times." Romans 12:12 boo ya. that's what i have to say about this verse :D

"Anyone who is sick should call the church's elders. They should pray for and pour oil on the person in the name of the lord. And the prayer that is said with faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will heal that person." - James 5:14-15

"Jesus said,"Dont let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me."" - John 14:1

"I leave you peace; my peace i give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don't let your hearts be troubled or afraid." - John 14 :27

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

"With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine." - Ephesians 3:20

"My God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need." - Phil. 4:19

"God is strong and can help you not to fall. He can bring you before his glory without any wrong in you and can give you great joy." - Jude 24

I found these verses and was so encouraged. God is so powerful and I can't even imagine what he can do. Wow that's amazing. I realized that God can heal my mom in a second if he wanted to but i think he's continually teaching me and my family through this. It's a witnessing opportunity too because we're always in the hospital meeting new people and nurses and just by having an encouraging, optomistic attitude can help them along cause it's kinda hard to be happy where everyone's sick. I really dont know what God has planned out from what i'm learning from this whole thing. Probably something amazing that i couldn't even imagine. :D

Boo ya!

Update

2007-12-12T21:23:00.000-05:00

My mom's in the hospital at least overnight. They're putting a port in her chest tomorrow. It's like a direct entrance to a vein so she can easily get shots and antibiotic into her blood. They put it right underneath her skin surgically. So just keep praying!! We're never gonna give up hope!

When will this end?

2007-12-12T15:37:00.000-05:00

My mom's going to the ER again. Her staff infection has gotten worse and she has more places now that it's showing up. A teacher just died from a staff infection i guess so it's kinda scary. She's not getting better. I'm kinda scared. It seems like this is never gonna end. Every time things seem to get better something else has to happen. I might have pink eye...just another thing to add on to the kaos. So now my mom might have to go back and stay in the hospital until they get it under control. This sucks. Keep praying. God it's in your hands now.

Mom's back

2007-12-10T17:42:00.000-05:00

My mom got back from the hopsital today. She went in last tuesday and was there for almost a whole week. It's good to have her home. Someone in the church offered to pay for a new washer for us too. another answer to prayer. the one someone gave us is loud and shakes like crazy and is rusty. so just another way God has provided for my family.

I'm in better hands now...and they're the only ones i want to be in.

2007-12-09T11:07:00.000-05:00

Natalie Grant - In Better Hands

It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
You can't be free if you don't reach for help
You cant love if you dont love yourself
There is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

I am strong all because of you
I stand in awe of every mountain that you move
Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone
I am safe from this moment on
There's no fear when the night comes 'round

I'm in better hands now
It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
Its like the world is silent though I know it isnt true
Its like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now I'm in better hands now

Satan seeks to destroy...God ALWAYS provides

2007-12-09T10:46:00.000-05:00

Because my dad is a pastor i think the devil try to mess with and tear down our family. Everything just keeps building on to the situation we're in. But God has provided for everything we need. My mom's been in the hospital since last tuesday and my dad's been super stressed because he practically has to be "mom." and thats a tough role to play. He's been doing dishes, cleaning, laundry and just overwhelmed with everything going on. And he's just awesome. Earlier this week our washer broke. What else could go wrong now? haha. Me and my dad had to scoop the water out of the washer because it was just sitting there..then we had to figure out how we were gonna do our laundry. Someone in the church had a washer they were're using and just gave it to us. wow. God really provides. Meals are another huge thing that my dad has to try to think about so most of the time we just have like mac and cheese or something simple. lol. but everyone always asks what they can do for us. I think 2 sunday school classes have made a schedule and bring us supper on tues and thurs. it seems like something that we should be able to do really easily but it's one of the most difficult things for us. so having them bring us meals is absolutely amazing. pastors dont get paid much at all and my mom doesn't work so we live pay check to pay check but God always provides. Randomly people have come over and given us money when we needed it the most when we needed money for medical bills or food or clothes or stuff. It just amazes me how God works through other people and their obedience affects our lives so much! Through everything my family is going through i think satan is trying to tear us further apart. not so much working. it's bringing us closer together. we have to lean on each other to get through this and overcome this battle w/my mom's health. God never ever fails to provide when we really need something. I'm absolutely amazed by him.

Hospitals

2007-12-07T10:57:00.000-05:00

Wow i spend a lot of time in hospitals. I just realized that tonight. Between visiting people when my dad goes to see people in the church and having my mom in the hospital i really do spend a lot of time there. Oddly enough tho i like hospitals. haha. I love sitting in the waiting room in my sweats and just hanging out and i can go see my mom whenever i feel like it. It's interesting to watch people deal with different situations in the hospital. Some people dont want to talk at all and just want to deal with it by themselves and other people get comfort from their friends and family. Other times hospitals are very frustrating. The nurses can be horrible...the doctors dont know what else to do...and they dont really seem to care a lot about the patient...probably because they have a ton of other people to take care of. haha but still. I think because when i was growing up i went to the hospital all the time to see my mom that now i'm used to it. It's just another place to be at. No big deal. Some people I see there are freaking out about their family being in the hospital...but really it's the safest and healthiest place for them to be so i dont really know how you'd be freaked out. idk. But ya just something i realized when i spent 4 hours in the hospital w/my mom tonight. And i think this is the first time i saw them like move her from the ER to a hospital room cause she's staying there over night and this nurse had a million questions to ask her and it took an hour! it was insane. so i just watched a movie. haha. so ya i'll probably go up there again tomorrow. the roads are insane tho. the drive home was a little scary. just keep praying! thats the best thing she needs right now.

Prayer is powerful...but waiting sucks

2007-12-07T10:54:00.000-05:00

Prayer is so powerful! I know that my God can move mountains! I know that he can heal people but waiting isn't fun. It's sucks that this whole thing with my mom has been going on forever. We continually pray and hope and long for things to get better, but they dont. Atleast not yet. It's not God's timing yet i guess. My mom's gone through so much. She's in the ER again tonight. It seems normal now that she's there since shes had to go there numerous times. It's frustrating. The doctors dont know what's wrong. They dont know what to do...how to treat her..how to make her better. I wish everything was better. I wish i could do things with my mom...go to church with her...go shopping...just hang out and have fun together. But i can't. and it sucks. I can't even imagine what my mom's going through because i know how much it's affected me and my family. I wish i knew why God is putting us through this. I know he has a reason but it's just hard to see when it seems like nothing is getting better. All i can do is pray.

Ashley Marie

I have moved...

Kenya is almost here

God puts thing together perfectly...

Ready or not...here it comes

New car

Bus Stop

Luke 1:38

Back to Blogging

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Chicago...

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U S of A

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On fire rallies...

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Adventures in babysitting haha

Tonight...

God smiled

3 day weekend!!

Piece by piece

*snow*

Highlights of '07

Tonight...

A Christmas to Remember

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Rihanna

Celebrity Morph

Psalm 33

It's beginning to feel a lot like christmas

*Let it snow*

Elf Yourself

Specific way you can pray...

Rule #1: Life isn't fair

Boo Ya

Update

When will this end?

Mom's back

I'm in better hands now...and they're the only ones i want to be in.

Satan seeks to destroy...God ALWAYS provides

Hospitals

Prayer is powerful...but waiting sucks

snow

Let it snow